Time I Finish What I Started

There are several things that I want to accomplish in life. Some are fairly short-term while others are much longer-term. The consistent theme will all of these goals though, is that while they have been swimming around in my head for quite some time, they’ve never really, truly been formulated properly.

Ever dream of losing a bunch of weight? Of being thin? Of looking good in swimwear on the beach? I have. I do all the time, actually. I like to think of these dreams as goals, though recently I’ve come to realize that without a plan, goals are just dreams with a more mature name. So, how can I do a better job this time? How can I really achieve these goals (dreams) of mine?

It starts with a plan.

That’s the difference between a dream and an achievable goal. I can dream I can fly like Superman, but the reality is that flying is an unachievable goal, and that truth becomes clear once you sit down to actually try to realize the dream.

Weight loss, however, is not unachievable. There are lots of blogs out there that document the achievement, from The Anti-Jared to Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit to F Daddy Rants. They’ve done it, they continue to do it. These blogs excite me! They’re proof that the dream — my dream — is actually an achievable goal!

How to Set Goals

So, how does one go from dreaming to achieving? By setting a goal. Not some random, uncollected thoughts floating around that are a bit vague (I want to be thin!), but rather by being explicit with what you want, and more importantly as I’ve come to find out, how you’re going to get there.

First – Be specific. You need to clearly articulate your goal. Being thin isn’t a goal, it’s a concept. Think about what “I want to be thin” actually means. What *exactly* is your goal?

Second – Make the goal(s) measurable. This ties in with the first, but expands it. If I define “being thin” as weighing 185 pounds, then looking here I can say “I’ll lose 75 pounds” as I’m currently 260.

Third – Make the goals your own. I think that this is one of those elements in goal-setting that can easily get lost. Maybe your wife wants you to lose weight, or even more confusing, you *think* your wife wants you to lose weight. That’s not your goal, that’s hers. Be sure your goal is YOUR goal. Own it. You’ll feel better about it.

Fourth — Set a time limit. That’s what this blog is all about actually. See, I told myself that my goal was to lose 150 pounds when I was 335. That’s good; the goal is my own, it’s measurable and it’s specific. The problem? Here I am 20 months after starting to achieve my goal and I’ve not yet achieved it. I guess I sort of thought I’d be done by now, but I never really put a time limit on my goal, so it’s still just kind of out there. Shouldn’t I be done by now?!?

Fifth – Put your goal in writing. I realize that writing down a specific, measurable goal is scary. Honestly, I’ve been doing the weight loss thing for 20 months now, I have a sense of how I’m going to accomplish my goal, yet putting it in writing here is still a bit anxiety-inducing. Why? Because by putting it in writing I make it real. I make it something to which I am accountable. If I write it down I own it, good or bad. And that means I can succeed — or fail.

So those are the key ingredients in setting goals. Now that I’ve laid that out, I’m going to do two things: I’m going to write down MY goals, and I’m also going to encourage you to write down yours. Add them to the comments section of this post. Put them on your blog and link to it in the comments. Email me directly from this site. Tweet at me! Just make it happen. Make your goals something you can work to achieve. Make them real.

My Goal

I want to be thin, which to me, on my body, is 185 pounds. That means my goal is to lose 75 pounds. I will lose, on average, two pounds a week, which will take 37.5 weeks to accomplish. That puts my target date of achieving my goal at November 17th, 2010.

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Finally, I’ve got to give credit where it’s due; my understanding of goals, goal-setting, and accomplishing goals has been helped dramatically by Dave Ramsey. Dave is primarily a financial advisor, giving financial advice to those in debt. For those who subscribe to his debt methodology, I’m on Baby Step 2, with only my car note to go.

Back in July of 2008 I found myself a very unhappy 335 pound man. I don’t exactly know why that day, unlike every day before it, brought a huge rush of motivation to me, but I didn’t stop to question why. I didn’t hold myself back. I dived in, joining a gym, changing my eating habits and writing a blog.

My overall goal was to lose 150 pounds, meet a gal, fall in love, and generally get my life moving forward again.

Amazingly, I sort of kind of did that. Only, it doesn’t work out quite like I’d planned it in my head. See, by committing myself, by taking that first step and making a choice, by drawing a line in the sand, I got my life moving forward that day. I discovered a truth then – if you have nothing to look forward to in life, if you’re always looking to the past as your source of happiness, it’s hard for life to progress. That day I started looking forward.

Is it any wonder then that only one week into my new commitment to myself, I found the seeds of a new romantic relationship plant themselves and slowly take root? Positivity breeds positivity, and life started to show me that. Pretty soon she and I were dating, then she asked me to be closer so we could REALLY see what we had together. These days we’re making jokes about how much ring we can afford, and if we should dial it back (me) to have more for a downpayment on a house, or (her) get something that’s a bit more… uh… bigger.

Looking back at my goals, I see that I hit two on my list: I got my life moving forward, and I found love. The only thing I didn’t do was what I thought the whole thing was about in the first place — lose 150 pounds. At my best, I’d lost 88 pounds, getting down to 247. Tonight when I weighed myself I saw that I’m now 262, amending my loss to 73, or alternatively speaking, gaining 15 pounds.

Fifteen pounds, that have gone from barely-noticed to shameful to hateful in the past four or five months.

And while I’ve been adding weight back on, The Gal has instituted her own weight-loss program to great success. I hate to admit this, but I’ve become jealous. Initially I doubted her willpower — afterall, I was the guy who got up at 5am to hit the gym before work for over a year straight; how was she ever going to find the ability to do something so hard? Yet she did. She’d found the willpower while I’d lost it. It made me envious. Then success for her – one week in and she’d lost weight. One month in and the problems that her knees gave her had all but disappeared under the weight training classes she attended. During that time I noticed that the gorgeous biceps flex I’d developed had vanished. My arm barely changes shape when I flex now. She’d ask me advice, and I willingly gave it — my expertise was all I’d been reduced to at this point. However with each bon mot dispensed, I felt more and more the phony, someone just phoning it in.

That ends now. We’re done with the bullshit. Done with the jealousy, the envy, the feelings of inadequacy and failure that have led me back to ordering large White Chocolate Mochas with whole milk and whip cream, along with apple fritters when starting my day at Caribou Coffee. Eating portion sizes that are twice or more what they should be. Watching my weekly cheat become a daily one. It’s time that is over. It’s time I reassess what I really want. It’s time I finish what I started.

My main goal hasn’t changed — I want to be 185 pounds. However, this time I’ve added some other goals to aim for as well — some weight-related, some not. I’ll be going into those more in the days and weeks ahead, but for now I just want to establish myself again.

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Just as a quick level-set: I used to blog elsewhere, but lost my mojo as The Gal and her friend made reading me a daily habit. As I began to fail I also started to retreat from my daily writings as I didn’t want them focusing and talking about my failures. It became a self-perpetuating problem. I spoke with The Gal regarding my old blog; she was of the opinion that if blogging is important to me (it is), then I should start up a new one, away from the prying eyes of her and her friends. She’s cool with not having a clue about this thing. So am I. I’m back, and I don’t feel so restricted with my thoughts — not that I’ve got lots to write about her or anything. More like, when I’m trying to be honest with myself by blogging my thoughts, I don’t want to fear that it’ll spark debate back home. Anyway, with the start of this blog that issue is effectively dealt with — I’m back, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. As an act of posterity I’ve brought those old posts over to this new joint.

If you’re new to my weight loss efforts, welcome. If you’re an old friend coming further along with me, welcome back.

I’m glad you’re here – we’ve got work to do.